mcriddle me this

im missing something. i think i found it, but i dont remember how to use it.

what am i?


....oooohhhhh something enigmatic

heres another one (got this one from batman the animted series: Edward Nygma's debut episode:

what has thousands of eyes, none of which can see, has two parts, works nonstop all day in the dark, but needs rest every night?






the brain.

im not too hot about my accounting class this quarter, but i keep reassuring myself that ill need it some day in the future. but the professor kinda humors me. not in the haha funny but more like the this-guy-reminds-me-of-someone-haha. i got an idea...

i have a thick texan accent. im a middle aged man with a big mouth, and when it enunciates specific words moves to the bottom corner of my jaw, like a goat chewing on tobacco. when i talk i love to use inconsistent hand gestures that dont match up with what im saying. i hestitate in the middle of a monologue and pause a lot to try to figure out what to say next.

who am i?

i'm doctor john hancock, an economist with twice the brain of the guy i resemble, and i dress like the host on family feud. not al (michael caarn, or was that michael dorn?), and not the 700club looking guy, but the guy before him. i started laughing to myself before lecture began while he was adjusting the overhead. the class takes place in chem194, and if someone really wanted to, he could convert the screen to a really ugly red and yellow board with little boards that spin after hitting an auctioneers bell. and someone could change the massive periodic tables on the sides to huge banners with giant last names on them.

man there were some REALLY stupid families on that show. "we surveyed a thousand people and determined the top 7 ice cream sundae toppings." the host walks up towards the Hernandez family, a clan of 6 filipinos from vallejo wearing cosby sweaters and shoulder pad dresses. "so....emancipaciano" (the host kisses her hand and she flutters her eyelashes because a 60 year old man, let alone any man, has made the rare instance of flesh contact.) "so far we've got m&ms and chocolate sprinkles. tell me, what do YOU think is a popular sundae topping." she begins jumping up and down mindlessly and replies, "lets make it a go with.....hmm....." the host warns her 5 seconds remain. "lets make it a go with....SHU GAR KON! yayyyyyy!" the family supports her answer with mindless enthusiasm and three of the brothers somehow headbutt each other simultaneously. the audience hushes at her response and the host gives the confused raised eyebrow laced with confidence and exclaims "put it up there! SUGAR CONES as a sundae topping!"

a buzzzer goes off and an x appears on the tv screen. after the show the hernandez family walks away with empty pockets but the three brothers have a backup (because filipinos always have a backup.) they invite the host to their illegal cockfight the following weekend and rig his bets by feeding his roosters san miguel beer before each match. the hernandez family instantly claims to become millionaires after winning $459.62.