i so sad, im celebrating the 1 yr birthday of the phenomonal publication known as hernialand. like the cheap style of an old sitcom, heres a clipshow with some highlights from the past.

"hi what can i get for you today?"
"ill have a green bean slush and a green apple slush"
2/16/2004 11:01:33 PM
im confident that you remember the rest.
*fade to black*

[overlaying narrative] and then she took her break.

*fade to kitchen--everything black and white, slow jazz music playing in the background*

the break room/break nook is right behind where i work. it was 330, the oven next to me made me stuffy, and i really needed a break. the blue hat and uniform only made the lil miss look even more gorgeous. as i sliced the jello into squares i turned my head to catch a glance at her profile. another worker sat next to her and i thought, "damn" as i chewed on my bottom lip in disgust. fortunately, her english presented a language barrier for the man as i heard her yelling, "WHAT....TIME....DO YOUUU...GET BACK??" my supervisor deon had taunted me, telling me that he was gonna release me for break soon. every minute id look at my watch, and then look at her. what a gal, my partner seeto wouldve whistled at her and said "damn mike, she looks like michelle kwan...just be ghettofabulous like me and shell be yours." finally i approached deon, and like a genie he granted my wish. "free dinner just for you mike", only made me more eager. with some pizza on a plate and a tall glass of mountain dew in hand, i paced steadily back to the break nook, no, i strutted back to the break nook. she had vanished. not even the mountain dew could fill the emptiness inside of me.7/7/2003 01:03:57 PM
just a favorite. perhaps ill give writing screenplays a chance.

Redwing Murray

Sept. 28 2003 - June 2, 2003

You rode like no other lady.


"I have officially met the most beautiful boy in the world, second if not equal to Brian Gold..." -anonymous friend in southern california.
posted by M 6/3/2003 12:43:07 AM
my 2nd bike wasnt very good to me either. she went flat after 3 months, and shes been sitting in front of the apartment since then. surprisingly, no one has stolen the water bottle attached to the frame yet.

other organisms belonging to this class include the loogyhawkers in the shower, and the worst of all (at least in these showers where the floor remains undivided and everyones water travels throught the same drain) are the shower pissers....aka yellow bathers. 5/8/2003 03:48:45 AM
and i cant be anymore thankful that the only person i share a bathroom with is peter. thank you for not being a tubgirl.

oh well, i suppose my friends' advising me not to lower my standards has gotten to me. so if you look back at this, technically for a brief span of time, i was a manwhore. yet, the optimism remains and i can enjoy the remainder of the year i suppose idealizing for that next dorothy hui/margaret yang hybrid mutant to come by. im sure shes in davis somewhere...hmm... i still have to check those dumpsters behind the MU. either that or the recycle bins at the Silo.
4/14/2003 10:44:49 AM
after a year one of those mutants stumbled upon me on picnic day yesterday. i think. first time ever. she wore glasses, she looked nerdy, she looked cute. she inquired about the deep fried twinkies/oreos. i expressed my opinion. she stood there and listened, then thanked me. if mike were there, he wouldve told me to say something like, "here, why dont i just let you take a bite of my twinkie and find out for yourself." ah, the charm still lacks. or maybe its best im not a snakecharmer.